


The Science of Thumbnails

by ohhgreywarden



Series: Dragon Age Modern AU [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Twin Hawkes, Youtuber AU, not that it really matters other than that pokemon exists, rated T for cussin', seriously this is just the Hawke family filming a goofy youtube video together, this is set in our world
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:01:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27483919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohhgreywarden/pseuds/ohhgreywarden
Summary: When they were 12, Marian and Garrett Hawke buried a time capsule in the woods behind their house. Years later, they go to retrieve it with help from Bethany, Carver, and their faithful dog. While filming the whole thing for their YouTube channel.
Series: Dragon Age Modern AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2008381
Kudos: 4





	The Science of Thumbnails

**Author's Note:**

> So I actually wrote this back in February but was waiting to post it until my friend and I made more progress in another fic from this modern AU, and between that fic being put on hold and the pandemic, this has just been sitting untouched but completed in my google docs. I figured it's about time I let it see the light of day!

“What is _up_ , gamers?” Garrett Hawke grins at the camera as he walks through the woods. “You may have noticed we’re not at home for this video. There’s a very special reason for that!”

“That’s right!” Marian says, popping into the frame. “You see, when Garrett and I were twelve, we made a--wait, SHIT!” She stomps her feet on the leafy ground. “I was supposed to explain where we were first. Fuck!”

Bethany laughs at her older sister from behind the camera. “Honestly, it might be a good idea for us to stop walking for a bit. At this rate, we’ll already be there by the time you lot manage to get a clean take!”

“Oh, shut it,” Marian replies fondly. “Seriously, though, Garrett, I keep getting distracted when you call the viewers ‘gamers’. This isn’t a gaming video!”

“Hey, ‘gamers’ is a perfectly acceptable gender-neutral way to address people!” Garrett says as Marian rolls her eyes. “Besides, statistically speaking anyway a lot of our viewers _are_ gamers!”

“Okay,” Carver interjects. “Are you gonna do another take or are we just gonna stand around arguing until our toes freeze off?”

“It’s not _that_ cold!” Garrett says at the same time Marian says, “Carver’s right, we should have another go at it.”

The family dog, Lord of Barkness, woofs as though in agreement.

“Right, so,” Bethany says. “Places?” The older twins shuffle into their positions in front of her camera. “Okay, take seven in five, four, three, two…”

Garrett delivers his introduction flawlessly yet again, and when it’s Marian’s turn to speak, she doesn’t stumble either.

“We’ve returned to our childhood hometown on the hunt for buried treasure. That’s right! When Garrett and I were twelve, we made a time capsule and buried it in the woods behind our house. Today, we’re trying to find it!”

“I think that’s our take!” Bethany says as she lowers the camera.

Garrett whoops and pumps his fist in the air. Lord tugs Carver suddenly to the right to urinate on a tree for the twelfth time on their walk.

“Ugh, why did we have to bring Lord?” Carver says, rubbing his shoulder. “If he just wanted to piss everywhere, we could have gotten someone to walk him.”

“Aww, Bub, don’t say that about the baby!” Garrett pouts. Lord whines at Carver as well.

“If you don’t want to hold the leash, you can just say that,” Marian says. “We brought him because if he’s in the thumbnail, more people will watch the video. It’s just science.”

“Right,” Carver says, unconvinced. “I guess we should get a move on. Come on, boy!”

As they walk on, Bethany turns on the camera again while Marian and Garrett try to remember what they had hidden in their time capsule.

“I know there was a note,” Garrett says, “but that’s all I remember. We put it in a jam jar, though, it can’t have been too much.”

“What if we put candy in it? Gross,” Marian suggests.

“That does sound like something you’d have done, though,” Carver says. “You were such weirdos.”

“‘Were’? Past tense?” Marian shakes her head dramatically. “You wound us, Carver.”

Bethany giggles and keeps the camera running. She turns to look at Garrett, who has wandered off to look at a large dead tree.

“Aww, sick! It looks like this one got hit by lightning since we moved away!” He pokes his head into the split in the trunk and shouts, “Wow, it looks like some kind of animal made a nest in here!”

“Then get your head the hell out of there, dumbass!” Marian shouts. “Do you want to get attacked or something?”

Garrett steps away from the tree and pouts. “You’re no fun.”

“As great as it is to look around,” Carver says, sounding utterly uninterested, “don’t we have a time capsule to dig up?”

“Yeah, Gat, don’t we?” Marian gives him a playful shove.

“You do remember where you buried it, don’t you?” Bethany asks. “And hopefully it’s still there.”

“It was ten paces north from that big rock we used to sit on all the time,” Marian says. “Twelve-year-old paces, though, so probably like seven now.”

“Was that the rock?” Garrett points excitedly.

“Oh shit, yeah!” Marian takes off, sprinting toward the boulder. Lord barks happily and chases her, dragging Carver along with him. Garrett trots along behind them and Bethany takes up the rear, doing her best to keep the camera steady.

When she reaches the rock, Marian squints up at the overcast sky. “Ugh, which way is north?”

“Doesn’t moss grow on the north side of trees?” Bethany asks. She turns to examine a few trees with her camera. “And of course there’s no moss on any of these.”

“Never fear!” Garrett swings his backpack around to his chest and starts rummaging through it. “I brought a compass!”

“Of course you did,” Carver mutters while Lord relieves himself against the boulder.

“And north is that way!” Garrett points. “Hey, Bethany, you should measure the distance. You’re about the height Marian was when she was twelve.”

“Okay!” She hands then camera off to Marian and presses the backs of her legs to the rock. “Ready?” When Garrett gives a thumbs up, Bethany walks ten paces, counting her steps aloud. “Does this look about right?”

“Uh, I think so,” Marian says, pointing the camera at the ground. “Time to start digging, I guess…”

“It’s too bad Lord was never one for digging,” Carver says as Marian gives the camera back to Bethany. “He’d probably find it faster than you two with your little trowels.”

“Well, let’s go, Fox!” Garrett pulls the trowels out of his pack and raises them triumphantly over his head before handing one off to Marian. “Wait, shit, how deep do you think it is?”

Marian looks at the trowel. “We should be able to find it by just poking this in the ground, yeah?”

“Let’s hope!” Garrett begins stabbing the ground at random. Marian takes a more careful approach, spacing her stabs out in a grid.

“You fucking dipshit, Gat,” Carver mutters. Bethany giggles and gives him a playful shove.

To nobody’s surprise, Marian is the first one to strike something that might be their time capsule. She excitedly starts digging a hole. “Oi! I got it!”

Sure enough, she begins to unearth the lid of a glass jar. Garrett joins her and the two quickly reveal the jar. When they begin to wipe the dirt off of it, a cloth wrapped around the other contents is the only thing that can be seen.

“This is definitely our time capsule!” Garrett cheers.

“Open it! Open it!” Bethany chants while stepping closer to pan up and down the jar.

Garrett makes a strained face as he tries to open the jar. “Damn, we really sealed this up tight when we were twelve! Carv, you try it!”

“Why me?!”

“You’re the strongest, duh.” Garrett holds the jar out to Carver. “Now gimme Lord’s leash and open this.”

Carver trades the leash for the jar. He pops the lid open with only a little effort. “Alright, here you go.” He passes it off to Marian, since Garrett is now occupied with scratching Lord’s head.

Marian dramatically pulls the lid the rest of the way off. “The moment of truth!” She takes out a rolled-up piece of ruled paper. “How about we start with this. Garrett, if you’ll do the honors?”

Garrett slips the leash around his wrist, adjusts his glasses on his nose, and unrolls the paper. “Ahem. It says, _‘Greetings from 2004! If you found this, that means that Lothering is not completely underwater because of global warming.’_ ”

“Well that’s dark!” Bethany laughs.

“Fossil fuel divestment is important, kids,” Garrett says directly into the camera before returning to the note. “ _‘We, Marian and Garrett Hawke, buried these things as a snapshot of our lives at age 12. Also, we wanted to see if the jar of honey really wouldn’t spoil because our science teacher Ms Arancia said honey doesn’t spoil but we don’t believe her.’_ Oh shit, we put honey in here! _‘We hope you find everything interesting or amusing and if you don’t that’s your problem and you can go back to your flying car or whatever.’_ ”

“Yeah, that sounds like you two at that age,” Carver says. “Now let’s see what else is in there.”

Marian plucks out a little jar of honey that was sitting at the top. She holds it up into a ray of sunlight. “And that is extremely crystallized but still completely edible honey, everyone!”

“Woo! Tea time when we’re done!” Bethany cheers.

Garrett peers into the jar before Marian pulls the next items out. “Aww, we put friendship bracelets in there!” he coos. “I bet they won’t fit, though.”

Marian attempts to slide one of the red and black friendship bracelets onto her wrist. She can’t get it over her thumb. “Well, maybe if we untie them and make them looser it might work?”

“Ooh, looks like we put a mixtape in there!” Garrett says as Marian removes a cassette with a hand-drawn insert in its case. “We’ll have to pull out a cassette player and give it a listen later.”

“Is there anything else or is that all?” Bethany asks, trying to point the camera into the jar.

“Nope, one more thing!” Marian reaches into the bottom of the jar and pulls out--

“Hold on, is that _my_ Pokemon FireRed cartridge?” Carver asks.

“Uhh…” Marian looks at Garrett shiftily.

“I think it is!” Bethany says. Garrett shakes his head at her. “Or maybe not?”

“No, it absolutely is!” Carver snatches it from Marian’s hand. “I remember that it had that little dent in the top.”

Marian laughs nervously. “Well, we were kids, what can we say?”

“What can you say?” Carver slides the cartridge into his pocket. “You can say sorry, you bastards!”

The jar falls to the ground as Carver attempts to tackle Marian. She runs away with a shriek. Lord barks and whips his tail excitedly; Garrett can barely stop him from chasing after his siblings.

“Why are you going after me and not Garrett too?!” Marian shouts as she weaves around trees.

“Because I know it was your idea, Marian!”

“Okay, I can’t argue with that.”

Keeping the camera on the two the whole time, Bethany begins to chant “Fight! Fight! Fight!” with a laugh in her voice. 

Carver eventually catches up with Marian. The pair attempt to pull each other’s jackets off until he manages to put her in a headlock.

“Alright, alright! I surrender! I’m sorry, Carver!” she says after failing to pry his hands off of her. Carver lets her go. “Who let you get so much taller than me?”

“Well,” Garrett says cautiously. “That was… exciting, I suppose. Marian, d’you want me to do the outro?”

“Yeah, fine by me!” Marian straightens her jacket and gives Carver one more shove.

“Ready, Honeybee?”

Bethany gives Garrett a thumbs-up. “Take it away, Gat!”

Garrett turns to face the camera. “Well, thank you so much for coming along to watch us dig up our time capsule. Have any of you ever buried a time capsule? If so, did you dig it up later? Let us know in the comments section. Don’t forget to like and subscribe! Stay Hawkeward!”

“And that’s a wrap.” Bethany turns off the camera and puts it in her bag.

“I really am so sorry, Carver.” Marian says. “I should have told you what I did with that ages ago. I know how upset you were when you thought you lost it.”

“Oh, I’m not mad anymore.”

Marian blinks. “Come again?”

“I’m not really that angry anymore.” Carver shrugs. “Bethany let me play her LeafGreen so it was alright in the end.”

“Then why did you fucking _attack_ me?!”

“Well, I figured that if we fought, more people would want to watch the video. It’s just science.”

**Author's Note:**

> A brief explanation of the nicknames the Hawke family use for each other in this:  
> -Marian: "Fox" because of Disney's Robin Hood and the fact that the title character and Maid Marian are both foxes in it  
> -Garrett: "Gat" is baby-talk for "Garrett"  
> -Carver: he insists "Bub" is a reference to Wolverine but the truth is it's short for "chubby bubby" because he was a very round baby  
> -Bethany: "Honeybee/Bee" based on her initial
> 
> Bonus "huge Dragon Age lore nerd" points if you recognize the name I gave their old teacher.
> 
> I haven't been writing Dragon Age fic lately, but I have another thing that was sitting in my docs that I'll post in a few days. In the meantime, you can find me on twitter [@YourGirlRatBaby](https://twitter.com/YourGirlRatBaby) where I'm most active. And hey if you like Fire Emblem: Three Houses, that's the fandom I'm actively writing for now...


End file.
